5 Ways Christians Tear Down Other Christians 

I wrote this post directed toward Christian girls & guys because, as Christians, we are called to be a reflection of God’s love. In many ways, we as Christians, bully & tear down one another, not even realizing we are, for these methods have become “okay” & widely encouraged in youth groups, on social media & at Christian schools. There are many more ways, but I want to highlight five of the most popular ways Christians Tear Down Other Christians. 


This is a big one. It can be heard in the hallways of school and even in youth groups. Did you hear what Thomas did yesterday? It can’t be as bad as what Katie did! Did you hear about that? How many of you have just walked up to a group of girls gossiping about someone else & stayed there, curious about what was going to be said? How many times have we, as Christians, chose to tear others down because we were just “curious” what they did last Tuesday night? The next time you choose to walk up to a group of girls who are gossiping, I want you to imagine the person they are talking about standing right beside you. Would you still continue to talk about them and agree with what was being said? Or imagine Jesus standing right beside you listening to this whole conversation. Would you continue to agree or would you walk away embarrassed and ashamed that you were a part of such a conversation? Instead of talking about people behind their backs, why don’t we try a better method…. praying for people behind their backs. We cannot control what someone did last Tuesday, but we can control how we choose to react to their decisions. Even if you are hurt or just plain curious, it should never give us an excuse to talk badly about someone where they cannot defend their own selves. Have you noticed that those who gossip choose one person as the target & point out their flaws, yet choose to point out none of the flaws in their own selves? It is directly & solely focused on the mistakes or choices of another. Do you ever leave a conversation like that, feeling refreshed and encouraged in the Lord? Or do you leave feeling satisfied that you now know the most juiciest gossip you’ve heard all week? Even if you do not include yourself in the gossip, even if you choose to listen to it around you, you are also included into it and choose to support it & approve it to be okay. Next time, I challenge you to be bold in your faith and bold in loving as Jesus has and choose to walk away and pray about the person that has been gossiped about. Gossip is only meant to tear one another down and point out one another’s flaws. 


This is more of an inward way of bullying, yet still highly effective. What we think about and what we think about others is what eventually come from our mouth and what we will speak. If we choose to silently judge others choices and choose to think badly about them because of the choices they have made, we are inwardly pointing out the flaws in others. This created a barrier from loving others with the true love of Christ. Can you imagine witnessing the scene between Jesus and the adulterous woman? She had literally been torn from her bed, completely exposed in her worst state, in front of a crowd of people. Yet, no one had mercy on her except for Jesus. Jesus was the only one who chose to love her, no matter the sin she had been caught in. Jesus, the only one able to condemn her, chose not to. If Jesus chose not to condemn a person who would put him on the very cross he would die on, how much more can we choose to reject judgment and love no matter what that person has done or how they have treated us? We, as Christians, are called to build each other up, even in our thoughts. Our thoughts are speech before God. We must choose to pray for those who have fallen in sin! We are all lost, we are all died for, and we are all sinners. We will all one day be judged by our Father in heaven. We will be judged for our actions, words, and even our thoughts. Choose to honor God and honor your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, by refusing to judge, praying for them, & covering them in the love that Jesus selflessly covers us in daily. 


This one might have caught you off track. Yet, this is the one of the most common ways I see young women bullying & tearing down guys and guys bullying & tearing down young women. Jesus, the author of romance and the creator of the desires within our hearts to love and be loved, chose to create a true love that is selfless. A love that a selfless requires no attention, and no satisfaction for ourselves. Flirting is the exact opposite of the true and selfless love that Jesus perfectly demonstrated on the cross. 

Ladies, the way you dress and the way you act either encourage young men to be pure in their thoughts words and actions or encourages them to think of impure things that will eventually destroy their souls. Revealing and tight clothing opens up doors and opportunities for men to think lustful thoughts. You as a lady, may be saying that you have an option to choose how you dress. You do have a choice, but are your choices honoring God? God says in his word that the person that commits sin is responsible for his actions, but the person that encourages another in the sin is also responsible for their actions. Here’s another good verse to encourage you in that area. – (Romans 14:21 | It is good not to do anything that causes your brother to stumble.) Is the way you dress encouraging young man to look at you and think lustful thoughts or causing them to stumble? Flirting causes man to be attracted to you and to look upon you, rather than encouraging them to look at Jesus and honor Him in their actions, thoughts, and words. 

Gentlemen, you are responsible for your actions. Jesus will forgive you if you ask, but if you choose to continue to walk into the same sin you are in, it will only hold you, bind you in chains & create a barrier between you & God. The way you view women, the way you think about women, and the things you say about women, YOU are responsible for. Making impure jokes about a woman’s figure or choosing to stare at the picture of an immodest woman on a magazine, is a complete dishonoring on your sisters in Christ, your future wife (or your current wife) & God. [ Matthew 5:28 – But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. ] 

Flirting is solely to attract thoughts and emotions to yourself, instead of encouraging lifting and building your brothers and sisters in Christ to be the best they can be. It chooses to tear one another down through impure jokes or suggestive comments. I challenge you to view how you act around the opposite sex. Are you encouraging, praying for, or even speaking scripture over your brothers and sisters in Christ? Or are you choosing to selfishly draw attention to yourself to satisfy your emotional and fleshly desires? Flirting may not be a big deal to you, but is most surely a way that can bully others into believing that their value is based on their bodies or the attention they receive. 


The Bible repeatedly states that those who have prideful hearts will soon be destroyed. Pride is something that grows over time. Pride can be born & grow through a spoken word, an achievement, or a status. Yet, just as we are born into sin, pride is something we will at one time or another have to choose to allow to grow or to weed out of our hearts. Pridefulness chooses to place ourselves on a higher standard and to tear down others for not having as much achievements or accomplishments as we do. Have you ever heard a statement such as this, or even thought or spoken words like these below? 

” I do not believe she should have taught Sunday school last week. I know for a fact she has marriage problems, to her husband of 2 years. John and I have been married for 10 years. I’m more skilled in this area than she is. ” 

The words just spoken, are an example of a prideful heart. Instead of choosing to encourage the young lady who chose to get up and speak, she discouraged the girl getting up to speak, and then begin to negatively point out her flaws concluding that she could have done a better job. 

Humility is a character quality very much treasured by God. Jesus, the King of Kings, humbled himself to die on the cross for sinners who were not worthy of it. Pride could have stood in the way knowing that yet some of the people he would die for, would never choose to follow him, believe him or love him. Jesus chose a better route, humility. And only through his humble actions are we able to stand here today and declare that we have been saved by grace. Choose to show humility to your brothers and sisters in Christ through the words that you speak. Encourage them and choose not to complain about mistakes or failures they have made. Humble yourself by knowing that just as they have failed, you have failed too and only by the grace of God are we forgiven. 


Jealousy is a feeling that every girl has felt at some point in her life. To view the new girl at Sunday school being used to sing on stage or to preach on the platform leaves us jealous of the fact that even though we have a good voice & even though we “spend more time with God” than she does we are not being used the same way she is. I have heard many hurtful words spoken of others completely stemmed by jealousy. Did you know that the girl you are jealous of or the guy you are jealous of, is died for too? Is loved too? Is chosen too? Is on purpose too? Is a world changer too? Is beautiful too? Is being used too? We are all loved, all died for, all chosen, all on purpose, all a world changer, all beautiful, and all being used by God in many mighty ways. God does not favor any of his children above the other. (Galatians 3:28 – There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.) Whenever we are secure in who God says we are, it leaves no room for jealousy. Jealousy is straight from the enemy and a tactic that he uses to tear one another down. Last year at a Christian summer camp, I viewed a young lady who was jealous of another young lady who was receiving attention from the guy she had a crush on. She spoke hurtful and condemning words to that girl, pointing out every single flaw the girl committed. The words the young lady spoke tore down the other girl to the point of tears. You can either speak death or life. Your tongue has that power. Words spoken from a jealous heart can be forgiven, but most likely will never be forgotten. Instead of choosing the emotion of jealousy, choose to love as you are loved. Choose to encourage as you have been encouraged. Choose to build the other person up by praying for them and loving them selflessly as Jesus has loved us. 

{ | } 
These are only five examples of ways that we, as Christians, tear down one another. Yet there are many more. Began to evaluate the words you say, actions you commit and thoughts you think whenever you are around others. Are you loving as Christ chose to love us? Are you building up, encouraging and lifting your brother or sister in Christ and bringing them closer to the Lord? Or are you speaking negatively, are you constantly jealous of another person, are you thinking impure thoughts, are you acting in a way that draws attention to yourself, or are you judging others & not yourself? We CAN change the world, by the way we choose to love others. YOU can change the world. Join me on a journey to truly loving as Christ has loved, encouraging others, and building them up as we were called to do as Christians. Our lives are reflection of the Savior we serve. Are you reflecting him well? 


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s